remote battles

yesterday i was watchin wrestling on da tv, and my stupid sister asked me to change da channel. i was like "woman u see me watching wrestling! never interupt a man when he watching wrestling".



then she said "you can watch it again later! its on demand!"


then i said "i'll give u da remote if you let me touch your b00bs."


then she said "ewww im your sister".


then i said "FINE YOU CAN PRY IT FRUM MY COLD DEAD HANDS!"


then i got up, and shoved da tv off da table, and its smashed into pieces. she was shocked dat i did dat. then i said "NOW NO ONE CAN WATCH TV. LOOK WHAT YOU DID, YOU TWO BIT DAME!"


then i threw two dollars at her and i said "go buy yourself a dress, you stupid hooker".


then i left and walked off into da sunset.

more cows

da cows return

da cows

stupid fuckin birds!

birds are stupid and dumb

an essay by MC Gee Gee



STUPID BIRDS! birds think they is all cool cos they can fly and stuff. YEA WHY DONT YOU FLY TO YO MOMS BEFORE I'M DONE WIT HER??? birds are so dumb dat they kill themselves by flying into windows. becos they think their reflection is another bird.



now i've been called da mostest stupid thing ever by a lot of friends and family.



but at least you dont see me killing myself by running into mirrors.



AND STOP CHIRPING IN DA MORNING WHEN I BE TRYIN TO SLEEP! DEM BIRDS ALL LOUD AND S**T!! why da hell do they do dat anyway? take your chirping bull, and SHOVE IT!



then you gots penguins. penguins is so stupid they can't even fly. AND THEY ALL UP IN DA SNOW! I HATE SNOW! lazy fat blubbering penguins. same with chickens. I ate KFC last night. and i was laffing da whole time. i even started yelling at my meal. i was like "if u knew how to fly i wouldn't be eating you rite now!!" and they kicked me out of da store cos i was bein loud and yelling at everyone else's KFC meals.

miss piggy

i know now i dont want y'all to judge me, cos i be a decent person. but when i was kid and i used to watch da muppets (da real muppets, not dat piece of crap baby show), i used to get hard whenever miss piggy came on.

i still do to dis day. i fantasize dat i be kermit da frog. and im like all busy in da office writing muppets shows, and miss piggy comes in. she's all like "oooh kermy lets do it on da copy machine" and i'm like "DARNIT WOMAN CAN'T YOU SEE I'M WRITING MY SHOW HERE". cos you know kermit wants it from her.

you see, i think dat since kermit comes from a frog family, his parents would disown him if he porked miss piggy. cos frogs are racist. but in my fantasy, i'm kermit and i'm like "alright jus dis one time, but if anyone finds out...i'm in deap doo doo". then i would do her on da copy machine.

dis would be a good muppets episode, cos it would reflect on inter spiecies love or somethin. and it would teach snot nosed kids some lesson.



plus i wanna do miss piggy.