Saturday, November 28, 2009


SHUT UP! i wanna be a WWE wrestler. i realize dat i might not make it as a rapper, and so i wanna do wrestling as a backup job. in case poop rap doesn't pan out. WRESTLING IS AWESOME! wrestling is awesome cos wrestlers get paid to scream and yell and be mad and beat people up. i wanna do dat! i'm good at yelling and being angry and breaking stuff. BOOM! PILE DRIVER!

i've already came up with my wrestling character. Skidmark Sammy! my name isn't Sam, but Skidmark Sammy sounds good. and i will wear yellow tights, with some brown splotches. dat way it will look like i pooped my pants all da time. and i will scream and yell, and my catchphrase is gonna be "DA POOP GONNA PLOP SMACKDOWN". i will have gimmicks too. i will carry a rag with poop on it, and when i defeat my opponents, i will rub da rag in their face. and then i will scream and yell.


Monday, November 23, 2009

Gremlins 3

so i finally finished my script for da new gremlins sequel.


dis gon be da bestest gremlins yet. da movie takes place ten years after Gremlins 2, and Gizmo has become a washed out drunk. he feels guilt for having started all dat gremlin chaos in da last two movies.

there is even one scene where gizmo is at a bar, and he orders a whiskey, and da bartender is like "i think you've had enuff" and gizmo grabs his shirt and screams "I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENUFF!!".

then da gremlins appear because gizmo drinks water after having a hangover. and then da gremlins wreak havoc. they take over an amusement park.

dis gonna be an R rated gremlins movie though, and da gremlins are gonna rape people and mutilate themselves. in one scene a gremlin puts a knife to dis guys mouth and he says "you wanna know how i became a gremlin? my father gizmo was a drinker and a fiend. and then he gotted water on himself and i became a gremlin" and then da gremlin carves his face into a smile.

and there is also a gay scene where two male gremlins do it. and theres gonna be a scene where a gremlins takes a dump, but it's green instead of brown. BAR HAR HAR HAR AHR!!

at da end of da movie, Gizmo gives up and decides to join da gremlins in being an annoying monster and wreaking da havoc. da last shot of da movie has Gizmo looking at da camera, with an evil look on his face. and da camera slowly zooms into his eyes. and then he shoots himself.

i'm still waiting for da green light frum paramount.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

beer and wal-mart

BEER RULES! and so does WAL-MART! if you don't like it, then take a crap in your pants and eat it! YOU SUCKAS!!

i hate organic food and people who are into "green" stuff. waaaah! we need to save da environment. FORK DA ENVIRONMENT! WHEN'S DA LAST TIME DA ENVIRONMENT DID ANYTHING FOR ME????

oh no! we gots to save da polar caps cos da polar bears is gonna die and ice will melt. WHO CARES ABOUT ICE??? ice is for suckas. and who cares about polar bears? a polar bear never bought me a beer. and if i ever met a polar bear, it would probly kill me. OH THANKS! i should recycle to save a killer polar bear? WHO CARES ABOUT DA POLAR LAND? it's all cold there and i don't wanna live there.

I LITTER ALL DA TIME! because i'm lazy. I DON'T WANNA LOOK FOR A TRASH CAN WHEN I CAN'T FIND ONE! if i be in a park, and i just finished drinking a six pack, i'm gonna leave it on da stupid grass. GRASS IS STUPID!

and stop dissing wal-mart! i met my girlfriend Brenda at wal-mart, and i can get stuff there for cheap. IF U DON'T LIKE WAL-MART THEN YOU HATE AMERICA!!!

organic food? FORK DAT! I LIKE DEM CHEMICALS IN MY DORRITOS! so take your environment crap and SHOVE IT!

Friday, November 20, 2009


i'm so tired of people thinking dat i'm a gimmick. dat i just rap about poop and fat chicks cos i think it's funny. there is a serious side to what i do! dat's why my production team is making a documentary about my life and strugges called "farts of redemption". dis documentary will make people cry and women wanna pork me.

there's a scene frum a gig we did last month, where we ran into a school library with stereo equipment and started rapping. it shows us battling da librarians who kicked us out, and one of da male librarians put me in a chokehold.

it shows me on da toilet writing raps, and i can't poop. it's a heartbreaking scene, cos i need to actually smell my poop to inspire lyrics. da scene is intense, and i start crying because i realize dat i won't poop.

it shows me having to deal with my stupid sister. it shows her talking on da phone and texting, and acting like a hooker. and it shows me throwing a dead bird on her dat i found in da road. it shows her crying and she talks about how she is in therapy cos of me, and i laff at her.

it shows me crying because my girlfriend brenda breaks up with me and throws a pan at me. it also shows her crying cos i keep calling her a tub of lard and throwing fried chicken at her face. and after i throw it at her, she cries and eats it.

there's lots of crying, because dis is me showing you fans what struggles happen behind da scenes. there is a quote on da screen before da documentary starts:

"Sometimes pooping out your demons is da bestest way to plop. Bar har har"

-MC Gee Gee

so please take some to watch dis documentary when it comes out, and gimme money for it.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

dog turds vs cat turds

whats up you stupid idiots. today i was bored becos my cable connection broke so i couldn't watch spongebob squarepants. so i decided to try an experiment. i saw my neighbor taking his dog for a walk, and da dog pooped. so i ran over and grabbed da poop before da guy could pick it up with his bag. he was shook! he was like "hey...what?" and i said "its for an experiment!" so i went home and put da dog turd on my desk, and i took a cat turd frum my cat's litter box.

i did this so i could compare dog turds vs cat turds. da dog turd was bigger, and da scent was much stronger than da cat turd. also, while da dog's poop was sloppy and more wet, da cat turd had a fine shape to it. not sloppy. and da cat turd dried quicker than da dog turd.

pretend like i was wearing a lab coat, even though i wasn't. and pretend dat there were, like, test tubes and stuff.

dog poop wins because da material was just more gooder than da cat turd.

then i took da turds and put them under my sister's pillow. she woke da next morning with poop on her face! BAR HAR HAR! she was so mad dat she started crying. BAR HAR HAR! DATS WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING MY STUPID OLDER SISTER I GUESS!!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Da Explosions Radio

Episode 5

dis is da latest episode of our radio show dat we usually record in my basement. here are da past episodes:

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Uncle Larry

dis here is a tribute thread to my uncle larry. i love my uncle larry cos he used to take me to his vacation cabin every summer when i was a kid. me and uncle larry would have da greatest fun ever. we never wore clothes, becos uncle larry always said clothes was for "stupid nerds". sometimes my uncle larry would play a game with me called "take da choo choo train". dis game hurt alot, especially when da "choo choo" would go in, but i got over da pain. eventually, he had to get rid of da cabin when he got into tax problems. and he's in jail for da next two years. but everytime i poop, it always reminds me of my uncle larry and his magic choo choo train.

Monday, October 26, 2009

eating in bed

i like to eat in bed. it's awesome cos you can lie down and eat at da same time! I HATE SITTING UP!! it's stupid. why sit up when i can eat lying on my back. i got a tv in my room, so i can watch pr0n and eat hot pockets. NUM NUMS!! mmmm. i get mustard all over da sheets, and i sleep in crumbs, but i don't care. sometimes me and my girlfriend brenda will lay in bed naked, eating pizza and getting crumbs in our fat folds. it looks disgusting, but it's heaven to me. we wake up with pie on our faces, or ketchup slathered over our bodies. sometimes when we wake up, we just eat all da leftover food in da bed. sometimes i'll find a chicken surprise under da mattress!! be carefull. one time brenda was lying down and eating mcnuggets, and she started choking. her face got all purple and i was laffing my a$$ off. BAR HAR HAR! she eventually coughed it up, and i ate it.

Monday, October 12, 2009

mod comic 2

some people dont get dis, it be an inside joke.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Monday, September 21, 2009

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Sunday, June 28, 2009

marriage is for suckas

get married, settle down, and have kids...


think about it. once you get married you cant pork whoever or whatever you want. u gotta stay home and pork da same woman every single night. then she gets tired of it, and wants to put new curtains on da windows. or she wants to put a new carpet in da living room.

I HATE DAT BORING CRAP! i couldn't even pretend to be interested in curtains or decorating a house. JUST COOK ME DINNER! and then da older you get, all you eat is meatloaf and stuff. u cant just be married and have mcdonalds!!

and when u get married u have to listen to your wife talk about stuff. I DONT WANNA HEAR DAT! talking about paying bills and stuff. I JUST WANTED TO PORK YOU NOT SPEND MY WHOLE LIFE TALKING ABOUT WIENER BULL CRAP!

then da next step is to have kids. SNOT NOSED BRATTY KIDS! u already have your wife asking for shopping money! now you gotta pay for your kid's stupid poop filled diapers. BUY YOUR OWN DIAPERS YOU PIECE OF GARBAGE! babies cant talk, they can't walk, they just lie around being useless. WE NEED LESS BABIES IN DIS COUNTRY!! then they get older and they want all kinds of stupid crap! like toys and an education!

if i ever had kids, i wouldn't even want them to do homework! dat stupid crap is stupid! i would tell them to stay home frum school and plow da fields! or to clean my toilet after burrito night!

so don't be a sucka. dont get married. just pork da girl and leave!!!


MC Gee Gee

Friday, June 26, 2009

Michael Jordan paranoid!!!

World reknowned basketball star Michael Jordan has recently expressed fear over his impending death. "I mean, first Michael Jackson died. We both are MJ. And we both have the same first name. It has me very worried" said Jordan.

Jordan also said that he has been seeing crazy visions, such as basketballs coming to life with razor sharp teeth, and Looney Tunes characters warning him of "the coming". "I mean, me and Bugs Bunny were friends when we did SPACE JAM. but when he came to my house last night, he looked like a zombie" said Jordan, who has become huge and fat since his retirement.

Jordan also said "I just want all the monsters to know that i'm not scared. not only do i know karate, but i AM mortal kombat. If Freddy Krueger wants to see me, he better be ready. because i know all of the fatalities". Then he whipped out a Sega Genesis controller, with the box to the game Mortal Kombat 2.

Hours after this interview, Michael Jordan was spotted in his front yard dressed as batman fighting off imaginary monsters with a broom. He was, however, not wearing pants.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

my rap career

my long hard road down da rap world has been long and hard. i furst fell in love with rap when i was 3 and i heard dr. dre's "The Chronic". around dis time, i also fell in love wit poop jokes. i knew when i learned how to spell, i would start writing rhymes. when i turned 9 years old and i finally learned how to spell, i wrote my first rap "da poop gonna plop":

yo yo yo yo

don't you know know know

i got flow flow flow flow

im not a hoe hoe hoe hoe

and i'm gonna poop on you

dat was my first rhyme. since then i have pioneered my own style of rap called POOP RAP. when i formed my rap group DA EXPLOSIONS everyone was hesitant about rhyming about bodily functions. but i told them dat with time, we would change da rap game. we started to get some attention, and Detroit rapper Esham even gave me a shout out on one of his songs (it's at da :36 mark):

with this shout out people began to ask "who is dis gee gee guy?". we eventually signed a deal with Universal records. however when the ceo of da company heard our raps, he gotted furious and threw us out. he said that his son signed us as a joke. since then we haven't gotten a record deal. so we started our own label "Da Explosions Records".

when i look at rappers out in da world now, i can tell they have been inspired by me. at least, when soulja boy takes a dump, he probably thinking "i should rap about this like MC Gee Gee does".

thank you everyone for da hard earned respect!!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Super soaker fun

man i had fun today. so my grandmother had her 80th birthday. and da whole family was together in my backyard. they was all eating buffalo wings and drinking beers. i just stayed in my room, while my stupid nerdy cousin kept asking me if i wanted to have a catch. "WHY DON'T YOU CATCH MY BALLZ?" i would scream at him. "come on, lets have some fun" he would say. so i gotted an idea. all my family members in one place at one time? TIME TO GRAB MY SUPERSOAKER. so i got out my HUGE supersoaker and i pulled my pants down. "Hold my wiener for a second" i yelled at my cousin. as he held my wiener, i slowly peed into da fuel cartridge of da supersoaker. then when i had enuff pee to fill up da supersoaker, i went into my backyard. seconds later, more den 20 of my family members was covered in my wee wee. they were mad cos they were all wet, but when they found out it was my pee, they gotted REALLY mad. my grandmother came up to me and said "you've ruined what could be my last birthday". so i tried to spray her wit da supersoaker, but it was all out of pee. so i went and found a dog turd and hurled it at her old wrinkled face. "TAKE DAT YOU OLD DAME!" i yelled. she started crying and i was sent to my room. DA END!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Da Classroom


check it out I finally made a twitter:

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Friday, March 27, 2009

Monday, March 2, 2009

My Rap Career

i be tryin to get my music career started. so i called up a record store, but i didn't have any luck. but i done recorded da phone call for ya. here it is.

Fat chick taking a DUMP!!! bar har har har har!!!

Me and my girlfriend Brenda been steady dating for like a year or something. She's a real skank. A real BIIIIGGGG skank. I keep telling her to eat dat chicken to keep dat flubber on her strong. Cos da bigger da cushion, da bigger da pushing. BAR HAR HAR HAR! but i made dis video with her where i show her taking a dump. Check it out! She's like a star now or something!!!

"Coyote Chronicles" DVD flyer