Saturday, November 28, 2009


SHUT UP! i wanna be a WWE wrestler. i realize dat i might not make it as a rapper, and so i wanna do wrestling as a backup job. in case poop rap doesn't pan out. WRESTLING IS AWESOME! wrestling is awesome cos wrestlers get paid to scream and yell and be mad and beat people up. i wanna do dat! i'm good at yelling and being angry and breaking stuff. BOOM! PILE DRIVER!

i've already came up with my wrestling character. Skidmark Sammy! my name isn't Sam, but Skidmark Sammy sounds good. and i will wear yellow tights, with some brown splotches. dat way it will look like i pooped my pants all da time. and i will scream and yell, and my catchphrase is gonna be "DA POOP GONNA PLOP SMACKDOWN". i will have gimmicks too. i will carry a rag with poop on it, and when i defeat my opponents, i will rub da rag in their face. and then i will scream and yell.


Monday, November 23, 2009

Gremlins 3

so i finally finished my script for da new gremlins sequel.


dis gon be da bestest gremlins yet. da movie takes place ten years after Gremlins 2, and Gizmo has become a washed out drunk. he feels guilt for having started all dat gremlin chaos in da last two movies.

there is even one scene where gizmo is at a bar, and he orders a whiskey, and da bartender is like "i think you've had enuff" and gizmo grabs his shirt and screams "I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENUFF!!".

then da gremlins appear because gizmo drinks water after having a hangover. and then da gremlins wreak havoc. they take over an amusement park.

dis gonna be an R rated gremlins movie though, and da gremlins are gonna rape people and mutilate themselves. in one scene a gremlin puts a knife to dis guys mouth and he says "you wanna know how i became a gremlin? my father gizmo was a drinker and a fiend. and then he gotted water on himself and i became a gremlin" and then da gremlin carves his face into a smile.

and there is also a gay scene where two male gremlins do it. and theres gonna be a scene where a gremlins takes a dump, but it's green instead of brown. BAR HAR HAR HAR AHR!!

at da end of da movie, Gizmo gives up and decides to join da gremlins in being an annoying monster and wreaking da havoc. da last shot of da movie has Gizmo looking at da camera, with an evil look on his face. and da camera slowly zooms into his eyes. and then he shoots himself.

i'm still waiting for da green light frum paramount.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

beer and wal-mart

BEER RULES! and so does WAL-MART! if you don't like it, then take a crap in your pants and eat it! YOU SUCKAS!!

i hate organic food and people who are into "green" stuff. waaaah! we need to save da environment. FORK DA ENVIRONMENT! WHEN'S DA LAST TIME DA ENVIRONMENT DID ANYTHING FOR ME????

oh no! we gots to save da polar caps cos da polar bears is gonna die and ice will melt. WHO CARES ABOUT ICE??? ice is for suckas. and who cares about polar bears? a polar bear never bought me a beer. and if i ever met a polar bear, it would probly kill me. OH THANKS! i should recycle to save a killer polar bear? WHO CARES ABOUT DA POLAR LAND? it's all cold there and i don't wanna live there.

I LITTER ALL DA TIME! because i'm lazy. I DON'T WANNA LOOK FOR A TRASH CAN WHEN I CAN'T FIND ONE! if i be in a park, and i just finished drinking a six pack, i'm gonna leave it on da stupid grass. GRASS IS STUPID!

and stop dissing wal-mart! i met my girlfriend Brenda at wal-mart, and i can get stuff there for cheap. IF U DON'T LIKE WAL-MART THEN YOU HATE AMERICA!!!

organic food? FORK DAT! I LIKE DEM CHEMICALS IN MY DORRITOS! so take your environment crap and SHOVE IT!

Friday, November 20, 2009


i'm so tired of people thinking dat i'm a gimmick. dat i just rap about poop and fat chicks cos i think it's funny. there is a serious side to what i do! dat's why my production team is making a documentary about my life and strugges called "farts of redemption". dis documentary will make people cry and women wanna pork me.

there's a scene frum a gig we did last month, where we ran into a school library with stereo equipment and started rapping. it shows us battling da librarians who kicked us out, and one of da male librarians put me in a chokehold.

it shows me on da toilet writing raps, and i can't poop. it's a heartbreaking scene, cos i need to actually smell my poop to inspire lyrics. da scene is intense, and i start crying because i realize dat i won't poop.

it shows me having to deal with my stupid sister. it shows her talking on da phone and texting, and acting like a hooker. and it shows me throwing a dead bird on her dat i found in da road. it shows her crying and she talks about how she is in therapy cos of me, and i laff at her.

it shows me crying because my girlfriend brenda breaks up with me and throws a pan at me. it also shows her crying cos i keep calling her a tub of lard and throwing fried chicken at her face. and after i throw it at her, she cries and eats it.

there's lots of crying, because dis is me showing you fans what struggles happen behind da scenes. there is a quote on da screen before da documentary starts:

"Sometimes pooping out your demons is da bestest way to plop. Bar har har"

-MC Gee Gee

so please take some to watch dis documentary when it comes out, and gimme money for it.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

dog turds vs cat turds

whats up you stupid idiots. today i was bored becos my cable connection broke so i couldn't watch spongebob squarepants. so i decided to try an experiment. i saw my neighbor taking his dog for a walk, and da dog pooped. so i ran over and grabbed da poop before da guy could pick it up with his bag. he was shook! he was like "hey...what?" and i said "its for an experiment!" so i went home and put da dog turd on my desk, and i took a cat turd frum my cat's litter box.

i did this so i could compare dog turds vs cat turds. da dog turd was bigger, and da scent was much stronger than da cat turd. also, while da dog's poop was sloppy and more wet, da cat turd had a fine shape to it. not sloppy. and da cat turd dried quicker than da dog turd.

pretend like i was wearing a lab coat, even though i wasn't. and pretend dat there were, like, test tubes and stuff.

dog poop wins because da material was just more gooder than da cat turd.

then i took da turds and put them under my sister's pillow. she woke da next morning with poop on her face! BAR HAR HAR! she was so mad dat she started crying. BAR HAR HAR! DATS WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING MY STUPID OLDER SISTER I GUESS!!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Da Explosions Radio

Episode 5

dis is da latest episode of our radio show dat we usually record in my basement. here are da past episodes:

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Uncle Larry

dis here is a tribute thread to my uncle larry. i love my uncle larry cos he used to take me to his vacation cabin every summer when i was a kid. me and uncle larry would have da greatest fun ever. we never wore clothes, becos uncle larry always said clothes was for "stupid nerds". sometimes my uncle larry would play a game with me called "take da choo choo train". dis game hurt alot, especially when da "choo choo" would go in, but i got over da pain. eventually, he had to get rid of da cabin when he got into tax problems. and he's in jail for da next two years. but everytime i poop, it always reminds me of my uncle larry and his magic choo choo train.